Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Randomize
