One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Randomize