You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
