Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
