Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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