He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
