The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize