im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
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Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
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My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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