Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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