what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
