I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
