nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
