then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
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