escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
the day after is always just damage control
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
