he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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