I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize