from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
