You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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