Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
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