She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
