Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
