I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize