Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
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