Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
