you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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