Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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