Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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