# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
you will always have a special place in my vag
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
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