We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
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i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
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