I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
