You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Randomize
