hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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