Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.