do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
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I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
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I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend