Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.