I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Randomize
