Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
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