U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
