OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I deserve this hangover.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize