Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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