Plan B is the new Plan A
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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