Texts From Last Night

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  (937): View more from Ohio

  Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.

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  (937): Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me. http://tfl.nu/bzyr
  Replies (49) Good night (993) Bad night (6787)
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  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"

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  (262): i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???" http://tfl.nu/nk2u
  Replies (12) Good night (1159) Bad night (4108)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers

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  (847): Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers http://tfl.nu/3d71
  Replies (50) Good night (1123) Bad night (6422)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Pass out mid-funnel last night.

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  (603): Pass out mid-funnel last night. http://tfl.nu/a6ug
  Replies (4) Good night (2444) Bad night (1881)
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  (716): View more from New York

  once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party

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  (716): once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party http://tfl.nu/h6v5
  Replies (10) Good night (1020) Bad night (4002)
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  (561): View more from Florida

  definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?

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  (561): definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful? http://tfl.nu/v0si
  Replies (11) Good night (3475) Bad night (1456)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.

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  (303): They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other. http://tfl.nu/yacp
  Replies (2) Good night (2954) Bad night (1005)
• Favorite

  (347): View more from New York

  asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.

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  (347): asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people. http://tfl.nu/r17b
  Replies (12) Good night (2764) Bad night (768)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang

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  (412): I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang http://tfl.nu/dtxk
  Replies (20) Good night (2079) Bad night (828)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...

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  (+44): A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh... http://tfl.nu/ky7u
  Replies (5) Good night (704) Bad night (2012)
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna

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  (651): drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna http://tfl.nu/yd45
  Replies (3) Good night (505) Bad night (1727)
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.

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  (502): Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis. http://tfl.nu/i3da
  Replies (2) Good night (703) Bad night (699)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea

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  (570): Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea http://tfl.nu/3xzx
  Replies (1) Good night (854) Bad night (522)
• Favorite

  (757): View more from Virginia

  You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good

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  (757): You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good http://tfl.nu/ql8q
  Replies (8) Good night (816) Bad night (435)
• Favorite

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."

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  (920): Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth." http://tfl.nu/xs9s
  Replies (1) Good night (709) Bad night (335)

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