man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt