Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.

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  (248): brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing. http://tfl.nu/ysyr
  Replies (10) Good night (4629) Bad night (787)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out

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  (917): im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out http://tfl.nu/fsk9
  Replies (106) Good night (21459) Bad night (1244)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.

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  (610): I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity. http://tfl.nu/4je5
  Replies (9) Good night (5200) Bad night (1035)
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  (415): View more from California

  There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.

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  (415): There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail. http://tfl.nu/6ic6
  Replies (43) Good night (6479) Bad night (1747)
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  (765): View more from Indiana

  I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..

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  (765): I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing.. http://tfl.nu/jqwx
  Replies (35) Good night (14740) Bad night (1574)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?

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  (214): Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me? http://tfl.nu/3sua
  Replies (19) Good night (1148) Bad night (2335)
• Favorite

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.

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  (724): Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately. http://tfl.nu/qxtl
  Replies (8) Good night (2494) Bad night (1459)
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  (915): View more from Texas

  In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth

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  (915): In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth http://tfl.nu/jkpl
  Replies (5) Good night (1880) Bad night (701)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?

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  (847): What sexual position says im sorry for your loss? http://tfl.nu/sjhl
  Replies (27) Good night (2486) Bad night (909)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.

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  (330): Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum. http://tfl.nu/36en
  Replies (9) Good night (1563) Bad night (799)
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  (561): View more from Florida

  I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder

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  (561): I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder http://tfl.nu/ihwc
  Replies (1) Good night (1291) Bad night (570)
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  (415): View more from California

  You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.

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  (415): You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink. http://tfl.nu/i804
  Replies (1) Good night (464) Bad night (1207)
• Favorite

  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic

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  (608): My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic http://tfl.nu/so38
  Replies (13) Good night (1538) Bad night (600)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?

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  (919): Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight? http://tfl.nu/lpr7
  Replies (5) Good night (1228) Bad night (525)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  I had to warn the neighbors

  (757): View more from Virginia

  Warn them about what?! It's noon

  (914): View more from New York

  "Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...

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  (914): I had to warn the neighbors (757): Warn them about what?! It's noon (914): "Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess... http://tfl.nu/j7iv
  Replies (4) Good night (854) Bad night (472)

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