I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.