his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
I did not marry a roomba.
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