Texts From Last Night

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  (519): View more from Ontario

  Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.

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  (519): Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me. http://tfl.nu/7rdg
  Replies (12) Good night (3515) Bad night (909)
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  (518): View more from New York

  everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.

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  (518): everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem. http://tfl.nu/bvtl
  Replies (30) Good night (4038) Bad night (754)
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  (305): View more from Florida

  i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.

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  (305): i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher. http://tfl.nu/huem
  Replies (8) Good night (1271) Bad night (2747)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"

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  (815): I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck" http://tfl.nu/5odg
  Replies (27) Good night (3947) Bad night (727)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely

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  (908): Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely http://tfl.nu/evtu
  Replies (13) Good night (704) Bad night (4611)
• Favorite

  (802): View more from Vermont

  Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.

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  (802): Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle. http://tfl.nu/jhbj
  Replies (7) Good night (3051) Bad night (1545)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.

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  (512): Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it. http://tfl.nu/4ruk
  Replies (5) Good night (2441) Bad night (780)
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  (510): View more from California

  Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.

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  (510): Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow. http://tfl.nu/c544
  Replies (3) Good night (2755) Bad night (797)
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.

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  (256): I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now. http://tfl.nu/ogzg
  Replies (2) Good night (835) Bad night (1275)
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!

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  (701): He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time! http://tfl.nu/6xbr
  Replies (27) Good night (2139) Bad night (886)
• Favorite

  (510): View more from California

  She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.

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  (510): She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again. http://tfl.nu/2r7a
  Replies (2) Good night (702) Bad night (1001)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it

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  (847): Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it http://tfl.nu/xf5x
  Replies (2) Good night (488) Bad night (673)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.

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  (847): I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low. http://tfl.nu/gpfm
  Replies (2) Good night (709) Bad night (931)
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face

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  (631): It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face http://tfl.nu/ptuh
  Replies (7) Good night (394) Bad night (853)
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub

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  (518): Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub http://tfl.nu/h3vj
  Replies (0) Good night (345) Bad night (289)

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