Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(305): View more from Florida

nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs

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(618): View more from Illinois

Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again

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(916): View more from California

craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?

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(434): View more from Virginia

we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.

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23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
Read it at the TFLN blog
(949): View more from California

it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable

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(719): View more from Colorado

Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.

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(313): View more from Michigan

Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill

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(480): View more from Arizona

He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.

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(518): View more from New York

I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas

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