i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Randomize