Small penises have feelings too.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
