My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
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