It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
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