I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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