How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
