i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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