No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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