dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
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The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
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smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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