he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
