how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Randomize
