Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
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