I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Still dying that you shit outside
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
