so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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