im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
