gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
