we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
