They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
